Hi everyone. I havent written in here in a while. Sorry about that. Today i would like to explain to you how drugs affect my bipolar. I had already blogged about my dual diagnosis. (pain meds/bipolar). Well my pain med addiction affects my bipolar in different ways.
First, if affects the symptoms of bipolar pretty bad. Sometimes when a person is addicted to drugs, the symptoms mirror bipolar disorder. Thats why its hard for dr.s to diagnose bipolar if you are using drugs. First you have to have most of the symptoms that are associated with bipolar from the book of psychatry known as the DSMIV. Its a great big GIGANTIC book. All psychiatrist use it im sure or have a copy in their office.
The symptoms i get when i use the drugs are I get really manic OR really low and relaxed. (depending on the drug). I also can get very depressed and i tend to lie alot when im using. I get out of control when i use. I try to manipulate people to get what i want. And it usually works. My mind gets all jumbled and i stop taking my psych. meds. Its a rollercoaster of emotions.
To stop me from spinning out of control, my goal is to keep off the pain meds and to stay clean and keep on the psych meds. That is not to say i wont fall every once in a while. BUT thats not my intention to fall. I love being clean. But when the cravings come its soooooo hard to think straight and thats why i need the support and the people around me. I need to hang out with people that make me happy not upset. The control that drugs have over you is just amazing and horrible at the same time. I have never thought that i would become a drug addict. As for the bipolar if i stay on the straight and narrow i WILL become better at managing my life.
The withdrawls also produce a series of emotions that affect my bipolar. When i take the drugs i want to numb whats going on with me. When im going through the withdrawls, there is no way i can numb the "pain" or what im going through. The feelings come back ten fold when your expeirencing withdrawls. I will say i DO NOT want to go through those again. Its awful. I got sweaty, the shakes, i craved like you wouldnt believe, my emotions were all over the place. NEVER again do i want to go through that. I fly into a tailspin and its so hard for me to get back to "normal".
Thank you for reading this and if you think you have a drug problem please call someone you know or the drug abuse hotline. Have a great day!
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Sunday July 3, 2011
Today im going to talk about a dual diagnosis. A dual diagnosis is someone who has a mental illness along with being an alcoholic/addict. I was recently diagnosed with having a dual diagnosis. This is all new to me so bare with me while i try to explain whats going on.
People with mental illnesses are more likely to have a drug or alcohol problem then someone without a mental illness. Now thats NOT to say people without mental illnesses DO NOT have problems with drugs and alcohol. Its just that when you have a mental illness its easier to become addicted to drugs and or alcohol. Im in the middle of looking up the reasons why. From what i understand its because our brain chemistry works differently.
For me being dual diagnosed is a very hard thing for me to take. Cause i never thought i would have problems with any type of drugs. In my head "im not that type of person". But i have come to realize that "that type of person" can be anyone. Me included. I am also coming to realize that i take the drugs to numb myself from reality. Which i know now isnt the best thing for me to do. I have to work through my bipolar, and my issues that accompany my life. If i dont work through them then im just going to be going down the drug path again. Which i really dont want to do that. Firstly cause i dont want to let the people who care about me down and disappoint anyone. They mean to much to me for me to do that to them. Secondly, i want to get better. I want to be happy in my life and with myself. And drugs wont get me that happiness that i want.
Being Dual Diagnosed means i have to work harder then EVER to try to be happy with my life and myself. If you think you have a problem with drugs/alcohol, please contact your crisis line in your area. They can get you help. Thank you for reading. I know its not that much information this time but im still reasearching this particular diagnosis. As i find out more i will write more about it. Thank you again for reading.
People with mental illnesses are more likely to have a drug or alcohol problem then someone without a mental illness. Now thats NOT to say people without mental illnesses DO NOT have problems with drugs and alcohol. Its just that when you have a mental illness its easier to become addicted to drugs and or alcohol. Im in the middle of looking up the reasons why. From what i understand its because our brain chemistry works differently.
For me being dual diagnosed is a very hard thing for me to take. Cause i never thought i would have problems with any type of drugs. In my head "im not that type of person". But i have come to realize that "that type of person" can be anyone. Me included. I am also coming to realize that i take the drugs to numb myself from reality. Which i know now isnt the best thing for me to do. I have to work through my bipolar, and my issues that accompany my life. If i dont work through them then im just going to be going down the drug path again. Which i really dont want to do that. Firstly cause i dont want to let the people who care about me down and disappoint anyone. They mean to much to me for me to do that to them. Secondly, i want to get better. I want to be happy in my life and with myself. And drugs wont get me that happiness that i want.
Being Dual Diagnosed means i have to work harder then EVER to try to be happy with my life and myself. If you think you have a problem with drugs/alcohol, please contact your crisis line in your area. They can get you help. Thank you for reading. I know its not that much information this time but im still reasearching this particular diagnosis. As i find out more i will write more about it. Thank you again for reading.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Wednesday June 8th 2011
Today im going to talk about the highs and lows of bipolar. When I personally have highs and lows it usually happens with in the day. I am what you call a rapid cycler in bipolar terms. Let me tell you it is HARD when your this rapid to control how you feel. I go from being down one moment to being out of control and "HIGH" the next minute.
Being on these rapid cycles really makes you think your crazy. I know when i first started with bipolar and i had these highs and lows everyday constantly all day, it was like someone else was controlling my emotions and playing with them. I couldnt control anything going on. Lately i have been having this problem. When im low im so low i feel like just committing suicide. The next moment i may feel so high that i feel like im on top of the world, yet the next moment i maybe back to my feeling low again. It just doesnt seem to end when im on this rollercoaster.
The first thing i have had to do is get my medications under control. Now im going through intense group therapy to try to learn more about my condition. If you feel like this or think you have bipolar or anyother mental illness, EDUCATE yourself on this. It helps to know that your not the only person that is going through all this shit. I know last week was the first week i found out that i had this rapid cycling and that it was a part of the bipolar. I am not the only one that is like this. There are HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS that have this. PLEASE EDUCATE and go see a professional. Its very important if you do this. Thank you for reading.
Being on these rapid cycles really makes you think your crazy. I know when i first started with bipolar and i had these highs and lows everyday constantly all day, it was like someone else was controlling my emotions and playing with them. I couldnt control anything going on. Lately i have been having this problem. When im low im so low i feel like just committing suicide. The next moment i may feel so high that i feel like im on top of the world, yet the next moment i maybe back to my feeling low again. It just doesnt seem to end when im on this rollercoaster.
The first thing i have had to do is get my medications under control. Now im going through intense group therapy to try to learn more about my condition. If you feel like this or think you have bipolar or anyother mental illness, EDUCATE yourself on this. It helps to know that your not the only person that is going through all this shit. I know last week was the first week i found out that i had this rapid cycling and that it was a part of the bipolar. I am not the only one that is like this. There are HUNDREDS, THOUSANDS that have this. PLEASE EDUCATE and go see a professional. Its very important if you do this. Thank you for reading.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tuesday, May 16th, 2011
Hello. Today im going to talk about getting a psychatrist for your mental health. Your psychatrist is there mainly for medication changes and to listen to you to how your medication effects you and side effects. He/she is not there to be there as your therapist. For this appointment allow only 15 mins or less with your psychatrist.
When you are with your psychatrist, let him know the side effects you are having with the medications that he put you on. He is there to listen to you and have you and him come to an agreement about which meds will work for you. If you have side effects such as tiredness/sleeping too much, sometimes then the side effect will leave you within a month. Then he will keep you on it for over a month to see how it will work with you.
If you get a psychatrist who will not listen to you and your concerns and answer any questions you might have about your health or about your medications, then it may be time to look for a new one. I know my friend is having problems with her dr. not listening to her. She goes in and has questions all ready for the dr. and then the dr. dismisses what she has to say and puts her on new medications, without her approval or changes med doses on her without her permission. There has been more then one occasion this has happened. If this happens to you then i suggest you find a new pyschatrist.
Remember you have the right to question anything the dr. is doing. If you cant get that with your dr. then its time to go psychatrist hunting again. :) Thank you for reading and i hope this helps you find a psychatrist if your new to this or help you understand why your psychatrist only listens to your medication needs. Thank you and have a good day :)
When you are with your psychatrist, let him know the side effects you are having with the medications that he put you on. He is there to listen to you and have you and him come to an agreement about which meds will work for you. If you have side effects such as tiredness/sleeping too much, sometimes then the side effect will leave you within a month. Then he will keep you on it for over a month to see how it will work with you.
If you get a psychatrist who will not listen to you and your concerns and answer any questions you might have about your health or about your medications, then it may be time to look for a new one. I know my friend is having problems with her dr. not listening to her. She goes in and has questions all ready for the dr. and then the dr. dismisses what she has to say and puts her on new medications, without her approval or changes med doses on her without her permission. There has been more then one occasion this has happened. If this happens to you then i suggest you find a new pyschatrist.
Remember you have the right to question anything the dr. is doing. If you cant get that with your dr. then its time to go psychatrist hunting again. :) Thank you for reading and i hope this helps you find a psychatrist if your new to this or help you understand why your psychatrist only listens to your medication needs. Thank you and have a good day :)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Tuesday May 3rd, 2011
Sorry i havent posted in awhile, its been hectic here. First i had a relapse that put me in a crisis center for about a week, then i had major back surgery. I am just now getting to feel like i can type more about my condition with bipolar.
Two weeks ago today, i felt the need to call my ICM (intensive case manager) and head to a crisis center. My depression in my bipolar was acting up and i needed immediate medical attention. Over the years i have learned that i sometimes dont need to go to a hospital, sometimes all i need is a crisis center. I actually like going to the crisis center much more then the hospital. Its more homey and you have a bit more freedom then you would if your at a hospital.
The first difference is when you are in a crisis center you can be outside in a designated area. Thats my favorite part of it cause you arent confined to just inside. Second, Where i go its like a big house. They have 6 single rooms and one double room. They have a kitchen that you can cook, eat, and make your own stuff whenever you feel like it. But the lunch and dinner is made by the consumers (you). You all get to pick what you want for lunch and dinner the day before and then they pick the cooks, clean up, set up, etc. It is very well organized. Thirdly, they do have groups but because there are only 8 people that can be there at a time, you get special attention in the groups and can talk as much or as little as you want. If i have to be anywhere this is where i would go. They focus on all kinds of mental illness but tend to your own specifically individulally.
My signs of being in trouble this time was that i heard voices, felt suicidal, and i just wasnt my usual self. I was taking my meds at the right time and the right dosages. It just so happened that i had other influences outside that caused me to become depressed. And as a bipolar my brain takes these other influences two times worse then a normal brain would. It is a known fact that bipolar brains tend to make what normal people problems say is nothing to them, Bipolars it can be a HUGE problem and tend to get into a whirlwind of emotions that can not be handled alone. The Bipolar brain is fascinating to me. There is just so many factors that can cause someone with bipolar to relapse. I hope this helps everyone understand what is going on in my head when relapse happens. I am going to stop for now as i am too all over the place right now to write anymore. I will write when i can get my thoughts more in order. :) have a great day. :)
Two weeks ago today, i felt the need to call my ICM (intensive case manager) and head to a crisis center. My depression in my bipolar was acting up and i needed immediate medical attention. Over the years i have learned that i sometimes dont need to go to a hospital, sometimes all i need is a crisis center. I actually like going to the crisis center much more then the hospital. Its more homey and you have a bit more freedom then you would if your at a hospital.
The first difference is when you are in a crisis center you can be outside in a designated area. Thats my favorite part of it cause you arent confined to just inside. Second, Where i go its like a big house. They have 6 single rooms and one double room. They have a kitchen that you can cook, eat, and make your own stuff whenever you feel like it. But the lunch and dinner is made by the consumers (you). You all get to pick what you want for lunch and dinner the day before and then they pick the cooks, clean up, set up, etc. It is very well organized. Thirdly, they do have groups but because there are only 8 people that can be there at a time, you get special attention in the groups and can talk as much or as little as you want. If i have to be anywhere this is where i would go. They focus on all kinds of mental illness but tend to your own specifically individulally.
My signs of being in trouble this time was that i heard voices, felt suicidal, and i just wasnt my usual self. I was taking my meds at the right time and the right dosages. It just so happened that i had other influences outside that caused me to become depressed. And as a bipolar my brain takes these other influences two times worse then a normal brain would. It is a known fact that bipolar brains tend to make what normal people problems say is nothing to them, Bipolars it can be a HUGE problem and tend to get into a whirlwind of emotions that can not be handled alone. The Bipolar brain is fascinating to me. There is just so many factors that can cause someone with bipolar to relapse. I hope this helps everyone understand what is going on in my head when relapse happens. I am going to stop for now as i am too all over the place right now to write anymore. I will write when i can get my thoughts more in order. :) have a great day. :)
Friday, April 8, 2011
Friday Arpril, 8th, 2011
Hello all,
Today im going to talk about Medications and Medication changes. Right now im on 5 different meds. I used to be on alot more but in August they toned it down to 5. When your first diagnosed, they like to try things in the hospital first so they can monitor you for any reactions to the medications they put you on. For me it was trial and error, as i think it is for most people, but again everyone is different. When they start your medications the first couple of weeks the medications my make you VERY tired. Or you may have another reaction to them. When i first went and they gave me the medications i felt like a zombie when i was in there. I told them and they immediately adjusted them. Again they may make you tired BUT if you dont feel right altogether you NEED to tell them how you feel so they can readjust them. Most anti seizure medications can be used for bipolar too. I know I am on one of them right now. That one is called Tegretal.
The medications i am on right this minute are: Tegretal, Rhisperdol, Celexa, Valium, and Trazadone. The Trazadone is mainly for sleeping problems. I did have a problem in the past with Trazadone but right now it is not giving me any problems. Your body chemistry changes.
Most of the time when i need a medication change, I will check with my Psychatrist and i will set up an appointment with him and he will adjust the medications as needed. Sometimes i dont realize i need a medication change and i end up in the hospital. I am trying to make it at least a year away from the hospital this year.
If i go straight to the Psychatrist before my symptoms get too bad, I will get them adjusted take them a few weeks and then go back to him and he will ask me how im doing on them. The adjustment takes probably for me about 3 weeks. Thats why UNLESS i have problems with side effects i try to keep on top of taking as prescriped. If you are diagnosed with any kind of illness remember to give the medications a chance to take effect.
Have a great day. Any questions just post them and i will answer to the best of my ability. :)
Today im going to talk about Medications and Medication changes. Right now im on 5 different meds. I used to be on alot more but in August they toned it down to 5. When your first diagnosed, they like to try things in the hospital first so they can monitor you for any reactions to the medications they put you on. For me it was trial and error, as i think it is for most people, but again everyone is different. When they start your medications the first couple of weeks the medications my make you VERY tired. Or you may have another reaction to them. When i first went and they gave me the medications i felt like a zombie when i was in there. I told them and they immediately adjusted them. Again they may make you tired BUT if you dont feel right altogether you NEED to tell them how you feel so they can readjust them. Most anti seizure medications can be used for bipolar too. I know I am on one of them right now. That one is called Tegretal.
The medications i am on right this minute are: Tegretal, Rhisperdol, Celexa, Valium, and Trazadone. The Trazadone is mainly for sleeping problems. I did have a problem in the past with Trazadone but right now it is not giving me any problems. Your body chemistry changes.
Most of the time when i need a medication change, I will check with my Psychatrist and i will set up an appointment with him and he will adjust the medications as needed. Sometimes i dont realize i need a medication change and i end up in the hospital. I am trying to make it at least a year away from the hospital this year.
If i go straight to the Psychatrist before my symptoms get too bad, I will get them adjusted take them a few weeks and then go back to him and he will ask me how im doing on them. The adjustment takes probably for me about 3 weeks. Thats why UNLESS i have problems with side effects i try to keep on top of taking as prescriped. If you are diagnosed with any kind of illness remember to give the medications a chance to take effect.
Have a great day. Any questions just post them and i will answer to the best of my ability. :)
Monday, March 28, 2011
Monday March 28, 2011 Symptoms of manic and depression
Hello all,
Today im going to talk about the symptoms of bipolar. The manic and depression symptoms. The symptoms are all different for each person. I know when im manic the first thing i do is to stay up late and i feel like kind of like a high feeling. I love staying up all night on the computer when im manic cause i dont feel like i need sleep. To me its very enjoyable. I also get racing thoughts and my mind is going a million times a second. Everything is running through my brain, i cant stop it. Its sometimes annoying cause you cant concentrate, but it feels great in another way. Also when im manic i tend to buy things that are expensive. My weakness is electronics and animals. I love both and the feeling i get when i buy these things is like amazing. I get such a high. I dont have to be on drugs. The downside is i have spent so much i was and am in so much debt. I have a really hard time with the shopping sprees when im manic. There are so many other symptoms that other people have but those are just mine.
Even though i spend when im manic i also spend when im depressed. When im depressed i spend alot of time on the computer and spend some money on the computer. I am now in over $2,000 in debt and im trying to find a way to get out of it. I have a few suggestions i just have to get to do them. One of them is to sell the stuff i have, which when im done my back surgery im going to do that. Another problem i have when im depressed is the isolating. I tend to isolate ALOT. I dont get out and enjoy life. I stay in bed all day, dont shower, dont eat, sleep all the time. Its a rough time i get when im depressed. I crash really bad after im manic. Meaning i go into a deep depression and i tend to thing thoughts about killing myself. I tend to think how would the world look if i wasnt here. I think that it would look great. Thats my thoughts. I know its very bad but its just the way it is.
Because i live in a group home, TLC, i am watched very carefully. They check my medications to see if im taking them, they check to see if im isolating, if im spending alot, and if im up all night. Those are the most serious symptoms that i have. The voices are there weather im depressed or manic. It just all depends how deep im in those two. But when it gets that bad, to the hospital i go. I have had ALOT of set backs and i try very hard each day to fight off being bipolar. It sometimes seems i just cant handle it and want to just give up. The "normal" people always seem so happy with life. I just cant see it yet. I really hope i can get there soon.
Ok enough writing for the day. I will get back to you. Next time im going to talk about medication and medication change. Thank you for reading this and keeping up to date. :)
Today im going to talk about the symptoms of bipolar. The manic and depression symptoms. The symptoms are all different for each person. I know when im manic the first thing i do is to stay up late and i feel like kind of like a high feeling. I love staying up all night on the computer when im manic cause i dont feel like i need sleep. To me its very enjoyable. I also get racing thoughts and my mind is going a million times a second. Everything is running through my brain, i cant stop it. Its sometimes annoying cause you cant concentrate, but it feels great in another way. Also when im manic i tend to buy things that are expensive. My weakness is electronics and animals. I love both and the feeling i get when i buy these things is like amazing. I get such a high. I dont have to be on drugs. The downside is i have spent so much i was and am in so much debt. I have a really hard time with the shopping sprees when im manic. There are so many other symptoms that other people have but those are just mine.
Even though i spend when im manic i also spend when im depressed. When im depressed i spend alot of time on the computer and spend some money on the computer. I am now in over $2,000 in debt and im trying to find a way to get out of it. I have a few suggestions i just have to get to do them. One of them is to sell the stuff i have, which when im done my back surgery im going to do that. Another problem i have when im depressed is the isolating. I tend to isolate ALOT. I dont get out and enjoy life. I stay in bed all day, dont shower, dont eat, sleep all the time. Its a rough time i get when im depressed. I crash really bad after im manic. Meaning i go into a deep depression and i tend to thing thoughts about killing myself. I tend to think how would the world look if i wasnt here. I think that it would look great. Thats my thoughts. I know its very bad but its just the way it is.
Because i live in a group home, TLC, i am watched very carefully. They check my medications to see if im taking them, they check to see if im isolating, if im spending alot, and if im up all night. Those are the most serious symptoms that i have. The voices are there weather im depressed or manic. It just all depends how deep im in those two. But when it gets that bad, to the hospital i go. I have had ALOT of set backs and i try very hard each day to fight off being bipolar. It sometimes seems i just cant handle it and want to just give up. The "normal" people always seem so happy with life. I just cant see it yet. I really hope i can get there soon.
Ok enough writing for the day. I will get back to you. Next time im going to talk about medication and medication change. Thank you for reading this and keeping up to date. :)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Tuesday March 22, 2011
When i was diagnosed, i was also hearing voices. I didnt know it then but that is common with people who have bipolar disorder. So my full diagnosis is Bipolar with Auditory Hallucinations. The voices i think are the worst. When i get my voices it is usually when im under ALOT of stress or when im not taking my medications, or when the medications stop working. When the voices start it sounds like im in a crowded room and everyone is talking at once. When it gets really really bad thats when one voice sticks out ( a male voice) and starts telling me to hurt myself. It has NEVER told me to hurt anyone else. When that one voice starts telling me to do that, i know i have to get some help, usually it means going to the hospital. Thats when they change my medications, or do something different with my routine. When im in the hospital im usually there for about at least 1 week. Its very difficult to be in a hospital but i know i have to be in there when things get bad.
When the voices start, i can keep them at bay usually with music and headphones. The headphones keep it quiet. I know it sounds odd but it does. If the voices get really loud i cant focus on ANYTHING. Its annoying to say the least. I feel like going insane when they get that bad. I hate when they get that bad. When i first started getting the voices, I didnt know what was going on and got real scared. I had NO CLUE what to do. Luckily i had some people there to help me and i ended up in the hospital to try to get rid of them. But let me tell you, it was no easy task. I say if i get them it usually takes up to about a week to get rid of them depending on how it is treated. If i get the 1 voice saying to hurt myself then it takes longer to get rid of. Its just the way it is i guess.
I guess this sounds horrible when you read it. Meaning it sounds like im "off my rocker" when i write these things but in all reality, it makes me understand my brain a little bit better. If that makes sense. I know when im under too much stress and i know when to get help now. Some people dont know when they are under too much stress until it is too late.
Thats it for now. The next post will be my symptoms of being in trouble. (its not just the voices). Thank you for reading. :)
When the voices start, i can keep them at bay usually with music and headphones. The headphones keep it quiet. I know it sounds odd but it does. If the voices get really loud i cant focus on ANYTHING. Its annoying to say the least. I feel like going insane when they get that bad. I hate when they get that bad. When i first started getting the voices, I didnt know what was going on and got real scared. I had NO CLUE what to do. Luckily i had some people there to help me and i ended up in the hospital to try to get rid of them. But let me tell you, it was no easy task. I say if i get them it usually takes up to about a week to get rid of them depending on how it is treated. If i get the 1 voice saying to hurt myself then it takes longer to get rid of. Its just the way it is i guess.
I guess this sounds horrible when you read it. Meaning it sounds like im "off my rocker" when i write these things but in all reality, it makes me understand my brain a little bit better. If that makes sense. I know when im under too much stress and i know when to get help now. Some people dont know when they are under too much stress until it is too late.
Thats it for now. The next post will be my symptoms of being in trouble. (its not just the voices). Thank you for reading. :)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
March 16th 2011 Introduction
Hello everyone,
My name is Tracey and I have Bipolar disorder. I am creating this blog for people to see how people who are diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder have to learn how to live. Although not all people who have Bipolar Disorder have the same symptoms, the same meds, or have to live the same way. Just like with people who don't have this, people with Bipolar Disorder are all different and unique in their own way. This is just MY account of living with Bipolar Disorder. I would like to educate more people about it, this is the main reason why im doing this blog.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 5 years ago. It has been a part of my life non stop for the past 5 years. I have come to live with the fact that i have a disorder. I am on SSD (also known as Social Security Disability). I have also gotten used to the fact that when someone asks me what i do for a living, i cant just say "I am unemployed right now". Many people keep up with the questions, so I just tell them "I'm on Disablity for Bipolar disorder". With that then i get weird looks and often questions about the disorder, or even comments like "Oh yea, so and so in my family has that". It has been common for alot of people to be diagnosed with this disorder.
Living with Bipolar has been a feat in itself. From the medication changes, to the questions you get asked every day. Because your not physically handicapped you often get the comment, "oh you don't look sick" A comment i have heard on more then one occasion. Its been a rough road to say in the least.
My name is Tracey and I have Bipolar disorder. I am creating this blog for people to see how people who are diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder have to learn how to live. Although not all people who have Bipolar Disorder have the same symptoms, the same meds, or have to live the same way. Just like with people who don't have this, people with Bipolar Disorder are all different and unique in their own way. This is just MY account of living with Bipolar Disorder. I would like to educate more people about it, this is the main reason why im doing this blog.
I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 5 years ago. It has been a part of my life non stop for the past 5 years. I have come to live with the fact that i have a disorder. I am on SSD (also known as Social Security Disability). I have also gotten used to the fact that when someone asks me what i do for a living, i cant just say "I am unemployed right now". Many people keep up with the questions, so I just tell them "I'm on Disablity for Bipolar disorder". With that then i get weird looks and often questions about the disorder, or even comments like "Oh yea, so and so in my family has that". It has been common for alot of people to be diagnosed with this disorder.
Living with Bipolar has been a feat in itself. From the medication changes, to the questions you get asked every day. Because your not physically handicapped you often get the comment, "oh you don't look sick" A comment i have heard on more then one occasion. Its been a rough road to say in the least.
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