Hello all,
Today im going to talk about the symptoms of bipolar. The manic and depression symptoms. The symptoms are all different for each person. I know when im manic the first thing i do is to stay up late and i feel like kind of like a high feeling. I love staying up all night on the computer when im manic cause i dont feel like i need sleep. To me its very enjoyable. I also get racing thoughts and my mind is going a million times a second. Everything is running through my brain, i cant stop it. Its sometimes annoying cause you cant concentrate, but it feels great in another way. Also when im manic i tend to buy things that are expensive. My weakness is electronics and animals. I love both and the feeling i get when i buy these things is like amazing. I get such a high. I dont have to be on drugs. The downside is i have spent so much i was and am in so much debt. I have a really hard time with the shopping sprees when im manic. There are so many other symptoms that other people have but those are just mine.
Even though i spend when im manic i also spend when im depressed. When im depressed i spend alot of time on the computer and spend some money on the computer. I am now in over $2,000 in debt and im trying to find a way to get out of it. I have a few suggestions i just have to get to do them. One of them is to sell the stuff i have, which when im done my back surgery im going to do that. Another problem i have when im depressed is the isolating. I tend to isolate ALOT. I dont get out and enjoy life. I stay in bed all day, dont shower, dont eat, sleep all the time. Its a rough time i get when im depressed. I crash really bad after im manic. Meaning i go into a deep depression and i tend to thing thoughts about killing myself. I tend to think how would the world look if i wasnt here. I think that it would look great. Thats my thoughts. I know its very bad but its just the way it is.
Because i live in a group home, TLC, i am watched very carefully. They check my medications to see if im taking them, they check to see if im isolating, if im spending alot, and if im up all night. Those are the most serious symptoms that i have. The voices are there weather im depressed or manic. It just all depends how deep im in those two. But when it gets that bad, to the hospital i go. I have had ALOT of set backs and i try very hard each day to fight off being bipolar. It sometimes seems i just cant handle it and want to just give up. The "normal" people always seem so happy with life. I just cant see it yet. I really hope i can get there soon.
Ok enough writing for the day. I will get back to you. Next time im going to talk about medication and medication change. Thank you for reading this and keeping up to date. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment