Sorry i havent posted in awhile, its been hectic here. First i had a relapse that put me in a crisis center for about a week, then i had major back surgery. I am just now getting to feel like i can type more about my condition with bipolar.
Two weeks ago today, i felt the need to call my ICM (intensive case manager) and head to a crisis center. My depression in my bipolar was acting up and i needed immediate medical attention. Over the years i have learned that i sometimes dont need to go to a hospital, sometimes all i need is a crisis center. I actually like going to the crisis center much more then the hospital. Its more homey and you have a bit more freedom then you would if your at a hospital.
The first difference is when you are in a crisis center you can be outside in a designated area. Thats my favorite part of it cause you arent confined to just inside. Second, Where i go its like a big house. They have 6 single rooms and one double room. They have a kitchen that you can cook, eat, and make your own stuff whenever you feel like it. But the lunch and dinner is made by the consumers (you). You all get to pick what you want for lunch and dinner the day before and then they pick the cooks, clean up, set up, etc. It is very well organized. Thirdly, they do have groups but because there are only 8 people that can be there at a time, you get special attention in the groups and can talk as much or as little as you want. If i have to be anywhere this is where i would go. They focus on all kinds of mental illness but tend to your own specifically individulally.
My signs of being in trouble this time was that i heard voices, felt suicidal, and i just wasnt my usual self. I was taking my meds at the right time and the right dosages. It just so happened that i had other influences outside that caused me to become depressed. And as a bipolar my brain takes these other influences two times worse then a normal brain would. It is a known fact that bipolar brains tend to make what normal people problems say is nothing to them, Bipolars it can be a HUGE problem and tend to get into a whirlwind of emotions that can not be handled alone. The Bipolar brain is fascinating to me. There is just so many factors that can cause someone with bipolar to relapse. I hope this helps everyone understand what is going on in my head when relapse happens. I am going to stop for now as i am too all over the place right now to write anymore. I will write when i can get my thoughts more in order. :) have a great day. :)
that was a great blog! thanks for sharing that with us :)
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